My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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