i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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