I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.