Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
