masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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