just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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