I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
