Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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