RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
