Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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