He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
