I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
