I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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