Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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