Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
