The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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