I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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