Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize