So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
