I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
