i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
