This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
