Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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