He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize