Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
