return my video game
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
