Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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