We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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