I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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