no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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