Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
