i barfeds in our rink
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
