Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Farmville is her only friend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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