Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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