very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
