going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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