She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
