so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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