I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
