at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
