i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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