He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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