you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
