I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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