that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
