thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
