he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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