I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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