oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
