Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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