id be glad to
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
