No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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