idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
