i was born a porn star she said
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
