thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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