oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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