If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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