Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
