sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
