I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
