Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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