My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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