i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Panties = found
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