This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
