proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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