if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm always down for nudity.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
