HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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