Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
