Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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