It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
