OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
